THE PLACE CALLED THE COMFORT ZONE.
This is the place of comfort, a place where you feel comfortable. A place where you feel no threat.
This is your zone, your natural habitat where you sleep, you relax and do everything on auto pilot.
You do not need to exert yourself in your comfort zone.
Everything operates like clockwork and there’s hardly ever anything out of place.
Everything is exactly as you want it to be in your comfort zone.
The comfort Zone could be a place or a wall you’ve constructed around yourself to make yourself feel safe and secure.
The comfort zone to us is that place of refuge where we escape to when situations get a bit too challenging.
Whenever someone or something requires us to level up or call for a higher or different version of ourselves we tend to run to our comfort zone
The comfort zone requires nothing from us, demands nothing of us and simply lets us be.
Many people live their entire lives in their comfort zone while some go in and out of it.
While the comfort zone may have its benefits it is not a place of permanent residence.
Nor should it be the primary go to in case of stress or distress.
Many people practice escapism and the comfort zone is where they go.
They would rather return to a place that the only thing it offers the allure of familiarity and nothing else.
They do this because they are unwilling to face or tackle whatever issue they are having.
The comfort zone is exactly that, a zone not a geographical territory but basically a mental one.
It is formed by creating mental and emotional ideas and attachment to places, persons or states etc.
For example a person could be a comfort zone for another. In this case when someone else or a situation calls for you to do better or differently you rather go to this person who would simply embrace you and not have any expectations of you whatsoever.
They don’t require you to step up or try to improve your self in any way
You feel absolutely comforted in their embrace and their words probably stroke your ego bringing you comfort.
Being with them has no risk at all
They will always be there, they are always well coming regardless of how you behave.
The comfort zone could also be an attitude or a particular thing that you do.
So instead of stepping out and taking risks you’d rather play safe and swim in shallow waters.
You do know what they say about shallow Waters?
There’s hardly any fish in shallow waters and even if there are, they’ll be the smallest ever and not fit for anything.
Let’s look at the lots and lots of singles genuinely desiring relationships but they won’t go out to mix or meet with people.
They are more comfortable not going out staying indoors. They would rather stay home or remain in the company of the same old friends they’ve kept over the years who are by no means dating options for them
Yet here we are.
They love staying indoors. It’s their comfort zone.
Yes we know that there’s the strong emergence of online dating options but we still need to go out.
You can’t really get to know someone without spending time with them publicly and in private.
We also need to go out to polish our social intelligence.
Places could also constitute comfort zones as well.
Some are attached to stay in their rooms and would remain there rather than interact with family or friends.
I know that some will say this prevents drama but I can also say that creates isolation and loneliness that could lead to depression.
Also let me point out that we shouldn’t be avoiding everybody because we are avoiding drama.
We can set boundaries and be selective with who we allow Into a sphere of influence and how we allow them in.
But to totally be reclusive is bad for our well-being.
Let me share a personal experience.
I normally keep to myself whenever I’m travelling. At the airport and on the flight.
I only speak with the airports and airline officials except I’m travelling with someone; In which case I talk to whoever I’m with.
Other than that I keep mum and I don’t even make I contact with anyone.
So of course I find stories of meeting people at airports or on the plane very strange because yours truly doesn’t engage with anyone.
That was my comfort zone; keeping to myself for whatever reason I felt comfortable just being by myself.
Even on the seat in flight I simply grumble a greeting to my seat-mate with a straight face which I maintain the entire flight.
That attitude of non-engagement was a comfort zone for me. That was how I was for years.
Then this particular day the guy beside me just won’t shut up. He kept trying to talk to me and I really didn’t want to.
However so as not to appear rude I gave a few monosyllabic responses and small smiles.
Then I put on my headphones I believe he got the message after that.
First forward to disembarking I discovered that my pickup had defaulted and I needed a ride to town from the airport.
Then I remember the guy had said something about him living in Apo (an area in Abuja) and that was my destination.
I also remember him saying his wife was picking him up, so apparently he had a ride home.
I quickly looked around for him and luckily he was still waiting at the baggage claim too, to pick up his luggage.
Guess who shame facedly approached him. Yes it was me.
I walked to him, he was quite surprised and I asked if I could get a ride to town with them.
He was kind enough not to mention my earlier attitude and graciously invited to join them.
I had a very pleasant to ride home and in even more pleasant company.
His wife was more of a talkative than him; pleasantly though.
And they kept me entertained the whole ride.
Awesome couple they deserve each other.
That experience made me challenge that particular comfort zone.
I started to question how many opportunities to make good friends and to build my network I had missed by being closed up on my trips.
Imagine if a few smiles albeit reluctantly and hardly any words got me to my destination in pleasant company and at no extra cost what are the benefits I could be enjoying by being intentionally open and friendly??
So suffice to say that the best thing to do is to question our comfort zones.
We will continue with the dangers of the comfort zone next time.
Meanwhile you can do a self evaluation to check for your own comfort zones and if they have served you.
Till then be aware that I believe in you and I’m always rooting for you.
BlissfulAbi
